thoughts, aug 31, 2007

Defining moments and other memories:

Being held over scenic outlook in colorado, looking straight down hundreds of feet (3yo)

Car overheats in mountains (same trip)

Singing Itsy Bitsy Spider in midwest (same trip)

Dream: Chased by a monster (Godzilla-like, though only about 7 ft tall or so), the monster stops, unzips itself, and out from its unzipped stomach come, in single file, dozens and dozens of girl scouts (or brownies, can't remember which)

Green Beret song - I'd play it whenever I had a chance (4yo)

Swingset, hanging upside down from the side bar. BW photo of this exists (4yo)

Field between our house and neighbors. Very tall grass (over my head). Fred got many ticks there (4yo)

Neighbor's talking Mina bird (4yo)

Sledding across the street (4yo)

Dad: "Is he guilty?" (who is this guy named "Guilty"???) [Had to have been Jack Ruby] (3yo)

Chasing Fred (the beagle) around yard after she grabbed a paper plate full of hot dogs in her mouth.

Bobby Orr's "The Goal" - and how I missed it. What an F'ing dunce. First truly Spridol move. Watched game 7 of Bruins first Stanley Cup at friend's house. Didn't really want to watch it there. I wanted to watch it at my house, and I wanted to watch it with friends. But nobody would come with me. So went to Paul Nagy's house to watch. When game went into overtime, I couldn't restrain my excitement, I somehow talked him into walking over to my house to watch the overtime period. I figured there was a break of 15 minutes (just like the intermissions between periods) so I figured there was plenty of time. I was wrong. Only 5 minute break until overtime. Walked into the house to discover game was already over. For the rest of my life, every time mention of "The Goal" comes up, I'm reminded of how I missed it. BTW Bobby Orr was my idol. I worshipped him. My all-time favorite sports figure. Huge role model for me. (8yo)

Being laughed at for pretending to be like dad on ladder painting ("Hey Annie") 4yo

Selecting our beagle, Fred 3yo


Neighbor being less-than-impressed when I showed him the mug I won at the fair. Hurt my feelings. Still remember the day.

Being pecked by Drinkwater's rooster. I would come over to Dan's house Saturday mornings, and ring the bell very, very quietly (didn't want to wake anybody up). Would stand at door for 45 mins or more hoping someone would come to the door. One time their rooster walked over to me and pecked me on the leg. I didn't cry, but I did tell them. They destroyed the rooster.

Mr Hill, shop teacher in middle school. Hated me. Made me do stuff over and over and over before letting me move on to the next step. Last in class. Shared workbench with Larry Binda, who terrorized me all through middle school.

Larry Binda. Hit by car when he was little. Suffered brain damage. Became very aggressive bully in middle school. Picked on anybody he thought was weaker than he. Our last names were close, alphabetically. So I sat near him in several classes. Lockers were next to each other. Taller and stronger than me. Pushed me against my locker, trying to pick a fight.

Incessant tickling by Mike. Mom wouldn't rescue me. I cried and cried for him to stop. Mom keeps doing whatever. Was she trying to toughen me up??? Did she think I was a wuss??? Why wouldn't she tell Mike to stop???

Dad cursing the guy who invented phillips screw drivers (and other adventures with dad using tools)

Fred always loved Mike more than me, even though I showed her more affection.

Mike and girls always talked of Missy as a great dog. Implication being she was better than Fred.

4th grade assignment: "What is love?" My paper: "love is waking up in the morning to find Fred, my dog, sleeping on my bed at my feet". Was given to my mom by my teacher. I was mortified that it was given to my mom. Nothing could have been worse.

4th grade: ridiculed by friends for liking Jeannie Cooney because she had a cute nose. Paul Nagy wouldn't let me forget it.

1st grade: at home w/ Dan, we licked potato chips and put them back in the bag and waited for my siblings to come and eat them.

Moraine St:

"Stampede of Rocks" - awesome place!

Ancient ruins: fallen down chicken coops. Great explorations!

Pear trees - "pear pie". Grape vines - the autumn aroma wa awesome. Stung 7 times by bees.


1967: Mike goes hitchhiking cross-country with friend (home -> Canada -> California -> Mexico -> home). Arrives home. Fred runs from kitchen, leaps on top of TV, rips across couch and leaps into his arms. (What am I? Chopped liver?)


I LOVED my elementary school - such a neat building and setting. No negative memories in this building or on its playground.

Loved the willow tree by South River. TV Tag. Crab ball. Dodge ball. Loved playing marbles on playground.


But that willow tree .. I remember playing near it one day before an aptmt w/ cardiologist (first aptmt?) and thinking that something is wrong. So whenever I see a willow tree I have that memory.

Older .. jazz standard I grew to love, rendition by Al Grey, "Willow Weep for Me"

"Martha and Bobby, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage."

Beth & Judy, whiners about boys in high school. Me in elementary school, learning that men are scum.

Cousin Beverly comes home from date .. "why do american men have this obsession with women's breasts?"

Cath: "you should go to a prostitute" (more than 1/2 serious)

Memories: I do not have many memories of mom, dad, sibbling faces prior to 1st grade. I remember more clearly Fred's face and the Mina bird's face than I do any family member's face.

(autism: cannot read faces)

Cath: came down, asked what I was doing, acted interested, but when I got into any level of depth, she has ZERO tolerance. I can read her face - she does NOT want to hear these things (or, she doesn't respect me for being so pathetically effeminate) Cannot stand listening to my shildhood stories.